Doors and Windows

This has been a hard winter. Much more than just the freaking cold temps that plague Eagle Mountain. My mom lost her leg after two hip replacements. My brother buried his baby girl after months of prayer and fasting. My wife's sister may be moving back to Oregon because her husband can't find a job in Utah. The company I work for got bought again and the future is uncertain. Plus quite a few other things that have just compounded. I understand that God's ways are not my ways and that sometimes He does things that in the long run are for the best but we won't know it until then. But can't I just get a hint? So much of it doesn't make sense. It's like working for hours on a project for class and getting a bad grade. You don't know what else you could have done. You did everything you've been told for so long is the right thing to do and still you appear to fail. Ask and ye shall receive. What if you ask every chance you get and you still don't receive?

It's not that MY faith is shaken. I have had too many answers to prayers to believe He isn't listening. But those were prayers for me. They were "selfish" prayers. Why don't my prayers for others work like those? Why does everything we've prayed for lately for those we care about always go opposite to what we and they desire?

When God closes a door, He opens a window. I've heard that and said it more times than I care to remember. But lately it just seems like all of the doors are closing and no matter how frantically I search, I can't seem to find any windows. I don't need a lot. Just one. Just something that will renew Hope so I can keep going.