Following the crowd

Ok, so I took this quiz because my wife did and apparently so did everyone else. I also took it with my wife as I read out loud the questions so that she could appropriately check any ego I might decide to attempt. Here is my score:

134 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

What does this all mean? For the 1930's I was a great husband.....I'm just 78 years out of date.

Evenings free

Hmmm....so I find myself for the first time in a long time with my evenings free. For the most part, since June I've been tackling homework every night of the week. It has paid off with now 6 total A's but I always knew what I had to do. It has been almost 6 months and now I find myself on a month long Christmas break. But I don't remember what I did before. I know I did something from 8-11pm every night. I must have! I don't think I just played video games the whole time. I guess now I need to rediscover what it's like to have evenings free.

I started losing my hair when I was 14. I didn't realize it until I was 16 but it has been in steady retreat the whole time. Each kid has increased the receding. Last night I gave myself a haircut* and cut it a bit shorter than I normally do because I wanted to put off another one as long as possible. This morning my kids hit me with some of that truth you never want to hear....

Adeena: "Dad, you got a haircut. You look weird."
Crickett: "They took all the hair on top of your head."

I love my kids. Luckily I decided a long time ago that I was going to take this all in stride and make the jokes first. They definitely beat me to the punchline this time.

*Michelle got me a haircutting kit 5-7 years ago and when your hair is as 'limited' as mine it's cheaper and easier to do it yourself. Plus, I haven't had to pay a dime for cutting Ethan's hair. :)

Growing up is hard to do

The great thing about binkies is you can take them away. Crickett never used a binky. She found her fingers instead. So the problem we have come across is that now as she approaches her 4th birthday we are trying to get her to stop sucking on them. Why? Well other than messing up the growth of her fingers it can also mess up her teeth so she requires braces....a very expensive issue indeed. I have been getting after her about it. I told her if I caught her doing it I would take away one piece of Halloween candy. This appears to only work when I'm around as was demonstrated yesterday when I called home.

Michelle was talking to me on the phone and I heard her telling Crickett not to suck on her fingers or Daddy would take away her candy, to which Crickett replied, "Do you see him around here anywhere?" Oh great, I can see I'm having some real impact there.

And then today, she got her bear which is a big indication that finger-sucking will shortly ensue and so I waited and watched for it. Just before she put them in I told her not to do it. So she looked at me and said she was going into the playroom. I looked back at her and told her she better not suck her fingers. She said she was going to go into the short part of the playroom where I couldn't see her. What great logic! Because I can't see her, even though I'm here, it's ok. Any help here would be great. I don't think Child Protective Services would be too keen on me sewing a glove permanently onto her hand. Maybe I can soak her fingers in vinegar or garlic. I don't know. Candy doesn't seem to be a big enough motivator. THAT I don't understand at all. I don't know who's kid she is. Candy has ALWAYS motivated me!

I never thought I would be pro-binky but after this struggle, they are way easier to cure.

Lost in Communication

"Hi"
"Hi there, how's it going?"
"Pretty good. How about you?"
"Not bad. You never call anymore. What's going on?"
"Well, I read your blog. I guess I feel that keeps me up to date on what you're doing. Do you read mine?"
"But reading my blog isn't like talking to me. I don't laugh with you, I don't share all of my thoughts and feelings on there!"
"You didn't answer my question, do you read mine?"
"Of course."
"You don't call either, you know."
"Oh....true. Sorry. Do you have time to talk?"
"No, I need to write a new post for my blog."
"Ok, I'll read it later."
"Sounds great. Bye."
"Bye."

The "Truth" about Santa

My wife and I were discussing Santa and when it was that we found out the "truth". She can share her stories later if she likes but I figure I'll send mine out into the world because I can. Just make sure you pay me royalties if you put it in your book.

The school year after I turned 12, my oldest brother left for college in Massachusetts. This meant a vacant room in the house. Up until this time I had shared a room with my 3 younger brothers. Being the middle of 7 kids, I'm not sure I had ever had a room all to myself before this time. But since my other two older sibling already had their own rooms, I got to move into the closet. You might think I'm exagerating. My standard twin bed fit wall-to-wall on one side of the room. It was originally built as my mom's sewing room which is what led to my final piece of innocence being ripped from my soul and flushed down the toilet like a dead goldfish. But after 7 kids she got the boot to the adjacent family room. Anyway, I moved in just before school started and was thrilled to finally have my own space. I'm sure my little brothers were glad I was gone too because I'm a bit weird and back then was a tad of a collector.

In this room was a window. Not a glass one but basically a large opening to the family room covered by wooden shutters. This was so my mom, when sewing, could look in on the kids playing in the family room. I think the shutters were installed so Paul(my oldest brother) could have some privacy. Now it gets a tad fuzzy from here. I'm not sure if it was that first Christmas or the next one but one of those two is when I found out. Christmas was ALWAYS in the family room.

The Christmas I learned the "truth" I had gone to bed in eager anticipation of what I might find the next morning. I believe I had asked for a dual-cassette deck player with a radio in it so I could copy tapes and record music off the radio. Yeah, do you remember doing that too? At some point during the night, Santa got really noisy with the tools trying to put together the ping pong table. I woke up and listened intently. At this point I'm pretty sure I had an idea that it was my parents but no solid proof. Then I heard my dad. He has a very distinct voice. And then I heard him say something that shocked me even more....he told Paul to bring him a screwdriver. Paul?? I got out of bed as quiety as I could and slunk over to the blinds. I slowly opened one a little bit and saw that the family room was ablaze in lights. Apparently a ping pong table is hard to put together with only one or two lights on. And sure enough, there was Paul helping my dad. The "truth" had been revealed. But not just the truth about Santa but the truth about my parents recruting the older kids for help!! I couldn't believe Paul was in on this and hadn't said anything!

And then my second oldest brother and my sister walked into the room with my mom. What?!?!? They all were in on this??? Why didn't anyone tell me!? I was flabbergasted and a little upset. I heard my dad say, "This table isn't for climbing on or playing games on or having a picnic on." I don't remember much after that so I think I went back to bed and fell asleep.

My naive belief was gone. No more could I push the burden of proof that he wasn't real on others. Santa had a belly that was round and shook like bowl full of jelly alright but he slept upstairs and never grew a beard. Part of me was crushed. However, I could have kept this a secret. I could have played dumb...except I did play dumb the next day.

After presents were opened and we were admiring our loot, my dad got everyone's attention and started on a speech about our new ping pong table that 'Santa' had brought. He said, "This table isn't for climbing all over or playing games on...." and as he paused to take a breath, I finished with, "or have a picnic on." My dad whirled and looked at me. Doh! I had forgotten that I wasn't supposed to have been privy to this information. All he said to me then and we never talked about it again was, "Someone stayed up later than they should have last night." My secret was out. I knew. And I knew that my dad knew I knew, ya know.

I have never told him that it was his banging around that woke me up. We never discussed that this was the first time I had real proof about the "truth". And I was never asked to help with Christmas until I was almost ready to leave the house some six plus years later. And that is the truth.

Just some Meanderings(you didn't think I really had them did you?)

Well, I just got done reading the blogs of some of the people in our ward and busted a gut. I wish I could write stuff like that. But then it also brings into sharp relief how much I don't seem to notice or give enough attention to in my own life. I'm sure my kids are as cute and funny....I just can't remember when. Has working and schooling full-time just blinded me to my family or have I always been this oblivious? Don't ask Michelle...I think she'd agree with the later.

Anyway, I've discovered that there are a great many movies from my childhood that I wanted my kids to see. Partly because I remember them being good and partly because I'm a big movie-quoter. So it was that I set out with zeal to acquire Mary Poppins. I think it's a movie everyone should see at least once in their life if not more. I finally won an ebay auction and my dvd arrived. Our family has now watched it at least 10 times in like 2 weeks. I know my kids have watched it twice in the same day at least once. After watching it the last time, I decided I needed to make the every popular "Things that we learn from" list. So with no further ado....

Things we learn from Mary Poppins

1. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....but it doesn't make it taste any better.
2. Laughter is good for the soul but leaves footprints on the ceiling.
3. When destroying your children's good intentions, use a garbage can not a fireplace.
4. Spending less than 10 minutes a day with your children causes you to go through a lot of nannies.
5. Sometimes we have to get sacked to see beyond the end of our own noses.
6. Go fly a kite...just not in too dense of a neighborhood, around power lines, or in Eagle Mountain.
7. If you can afford a cook, a housekeeper and a nannie, I have little sympathy for your troubles.
8. Don't fall in love with a magic nanny or you'll spend your life working a dozen or more odd jobs waiting for her to settle down.
9. Women only want to settle down with men who have a direction in life.
10. Dick Van Dyke was a master and less crude than Jim Carrey.
11. Don't draw on the sidewalk in London...it rains too much there.
12. When you don't know what to say, muttering jibberish works and makes you feel better.
13. We still don't know the name of his other leg!
14. Witches fly on brooms, nannies use umbrellas.
15. They say it's luck that rubs off but it's really just soot.
and finally
16. There is a place near Suffock Bridge that's popular with jumpers.

I'm sure there a plenty more but it's late and I'm tired. Goodnight.

Tagged by association

I read Rheana's blog and she said if I read it I was tagged. Since I've never been tagged before and I'm kinda a sucker for surveys too, here goes my tag. If you read this, let me know because so far I only believe that one person actually looks at this besides me. :)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper because then I can wrap things in fun-shaped boxes to hide their real identities.
2. Real tree or Artificial? Real smell nice and it's the only kind of tree I'm NOT allergic to. But they are also expensive and we got an artificial one from my parents for free some years ago. So until we're rich *cough* artificial it will be.
3. When do you put up the tree? It used to be the day after Thanksgiving or that weekend. Then we had kids who wouldn't stay away from it and we couldn't keep them away. This year I'm thinking the week of Christmas unless a miracle happens and the twins learn to leave things alone.
4. When do you take the tree down? When I get around to it. Usually the weekend after Christmas or so.
5. Do you like eggnog? Heavenly nectar it is!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hard to say but the only one I still have is an electronic chess set. I wanted to be able to play chess even when no one wanted to play with me.
7. Hardest person to buy for? The siblings we draw names of. Michelle and my kids are easy to shop for.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Adeena. She loves books. All of them.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? *sigh* We had 3. But between the enablers(older 3 kids) and the criminals(the twins), I lost one of my favorites this year. *small tear runs down my cheek*
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? What are these Christmas cards you speak of?
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? It was on my mission. I got a bag of candy and my bathrobe that I left home.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Miracle on 34th Street the remake.
13 When do you start shopping for Christmas? Once we nail down what the kids want. Usually not until Black Friday.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not intentionally.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? my mother-in-law's homemade chocolates
16. Lights on the tree? Absolutely, they make the ornaments all sparkly and we all know that my wife LOVES sparkly things. :)
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night. It used to be Angels We Have Heard on High because I could sing each Gloria in one breath. But after singing O Holy Night for a sacrament meeting on my mission...it wins.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home. Why add stress to my holiday by packing it up and hauling it somewhere else?
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph. Already listed but if you don't know them.....I pity you.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Definitely a Star.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We do Christmas Eve at Michelle's parent's house so the kids all get to open something up there and Michelle usually makes PJ's for the kids to wear to bed. We did buy them one year but shhhhhhh!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The "X"-mas concept. Although I find it interesting that the harder life is for people in general, the more "Christ" I see in Christmas. Otherwise, I love the excitment, the eggnog(sorry Honey), the baked goods....*drools*, the atmosphere of love and giving.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Pretty.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Whatever. Christmas dinner hasn't been a big deal for me for a long time.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I want Mario-Kart for my Wii. Really it's more for my kids but I think it will be fun. I'm pretty simple so I don't think much about what I 'want' so much as what I need. It drives Michelle crazy.

Merry Christmas!!