Elementary school plays

Welcome to the little leagues. And I can say that with authority. I've done high school and college theater. I'd call that the minors. But to their credit they are ages 5-12. What the heck are you talking about?? Adeena has become an extra-curricular junkie. She joined her school choir, she tried out for the musical and joined Knowledge Bowl. A little nuts but she's smart and enjoys it so who am I to complain? Anyway, so the musical was "A Christmas Carol" and considering the ages, it actually turned out pretty good...but it showed that they were amatuers. Oh, I'm not talking about the kids. The school had rented or bought or something some wireless mics that go over the ear and down the cheek. The tech-guys struggled to get clear sound and at several points we got to hear the screeching of two mics too close to each other. It was not good. The chorus, which Adeena was part of, sounded the best and that was because none of them were mic-ed.

I can go over and over the reasons that they had so many issues but let's just suffice to say they did. Which was sad because if I didn't know the story so well and hadn't just seen the Jim Carrey version it would have been hard to follow because it was so hard to hear. But the kids were cute and Adeena was pretty shy before this year so we were very proud of her to get so involved with things that require public performance. And since I did theater, I'm kinda proud she is getting into it. Who says we can't live through our children? :)

Facing Mortality

Well, I just got the phone call I was hoping not to get. On Saturday, (if she makes it that far) my brother will be taking his older kids up to Primary Childrens to have Christmas with their baby. Then on Sunday they are taking her off the ventilator and letting her live as long as she decides to. The forcast isn't for a long time.

I'm surprised at the stability my brother maintains as he talks to me about it but I'm sure he and his wife have had more than enough tear-filled conversations and I also know I'm not the first person he calls. But still, saying goodbye in this mortal life is hard...even with the knowledge of eternal families. Yet, ever since they found out she had hypoplastic left-heart syndrom shortly after birth, they have had to face her mortality. Best case scenario is she could have gotten a heart-transplant around age 20 and have it take and live as long as she could with it. Most likely scenario was she lives to somewhere between 12 and 20 and her heart gives out and she dies then. Unfortunately, my family is not one that enjoys the best case scenarios very often. My mom had to lose her leg from the hip down (another story). This precious baby isn't going to last to her first birthday.

And so I sit here facing my mortality and thinking about my family and wishing I could change things for his. ****** I'm grateful I've gotten 5 healthy children despite wanting to give them away occassionally. I'm grateful for Jesus Christ and that he has made it possible for this sweet little baby to return to our Heavenly Father spotless.

It is sad and as my dear wife sniffled last night, "There are two things that shouldn't happen: Mom's shouldn't get sick and babies shouldn't die." Amen.


****** Continued the next morning.

Cabbage Patch kids of DEATH!

Titles have to be some of the most fun things that I get to come up with. Do you remember the Garbage Pail Kids? All of the grotesque trading cards of demented Cabbage Patch kids knock-offs? Good times.

So today is my Thanksgiving post. This time of year is my most stressful and that was before I started school. We got married 11 years ago last Saturday. So Michelle and I went out to dinner at Red Lobster because she loves seafood. Then we went to Curtains which is a musical being put on by Hale Center Theater. It was funny and fun. Great show. Over dinner Michelle asked me to tell her my favorite memory of the last 11 years. That was a tough task and we spent a good portion of our time together when we could talk without disturbing the show, talking about some of the good times we've had.

Then is Thanksgiving which is generally at Michelle's parent's house because it's around her birthday(if not on it) and so we go up there. Then this year, her birthday is the day after Thanksgiving. It's also Black Friday. And from there we are plunged into the Christmas season with baking and decorations and parties. And for the last two years it's also finals. Oh joy.

In the long and short of it, I have been very blessed. I have many things to be thankful for and I'm going to make a short list of those things I'm most thankful for:
my wife
the gospel(Jesus, Heavenly Father, atonement, etc)
my kids
my job

I said it would be short. Happy Thanksgiving!

Shall we have the penguin for dinner?

I started my Linux class this week and have already been introduced to VirtualBox which is an OpenSource version of VMware. Glory it's a good ride. Very similar to other OpenSource options I've used (GIMP, OpenOffice.org) in that it can't seem to handle everything in a single window. I've been using VMware for over a year now and so figuring out the particulars of VirtualBox didn't take too long. But it is freaking cool that I can do it!

I was also assigned to learn more about Linus Torvalds the genius behind Linux and so I did the normal thing and just Googled him. I wandered through his Wikipedia entry (always the authoritative source on any topic no matter what my technical writing teacher says) and then found his blog. And it's on blogspot! I read through the more recent entries and laughed a lot. He's nigh unto the Dave Barry of geeks and that's saying something. I've never been much of an OpenSource advocate except GIMP and OpenOffice because their counter-parts are outragiously expensive but I think this whole Linux thing might grow on me.

If you see me wearing a tux everywhere all the time, you'll know I've converted to the penguin.

Cabbage droppings

If anybody asks, I didn't do it. And no, I'm not talking about my homework...well, not right now. I seem to be stuck in a holding pattern. I remember laughing a lot once. I remember doing more or at least it seemed like I did more. I feel lost most of the time like I'm treading water looking around for something to swim towards.

Oh my life seems to have direction, I have a career and a future career path, I'm still gaining ground on my degree, my kids are getting older whether I like it or not and we have a financial plan. But as a person, I'm languishing. I'm unfullfilled. I figure that's a bad thing so it's time to re-evaluate myself. I know my spirituality has been lacking so of course that's where I will start. Hopefully, that will turn on the lights and help me find my way.

Where has my little dog gone

Ok,so I don't have a dog nor do I care where anyone elses dog is. My summer update goes like this: I'm still one valve down on my sprinkler system. I fear this will be the story of my life. Always having 4 out 5 valves working is a little sad. BUT my major accomplishment of the summer was finishing our fence!! Lots of long hours digging and mixing concrete in my wheelbarrow and getting the posts to be straight and I can finally not worry about stepping in dog poop when I mow my back lawn. YAY!!

I'm still rolling along with school and have had my graduation from SLCC accepted for December of this year! Yep, I will finally have some semblence of a degree. Granted it's just an AS but it's better than an outdated certification. I also started up at Weber this fall so I'm on my way to my Bachelor's. The only bad part is that I'm burning out like a lightbulb left on 24/7 for two years. It's getting harder to kick my butt to do homework. I'm starting to dread assignments.

Anyway, we've had the round of sickees and now I'm hoping we'll have a round of healthees for a while. I'm really rather tired of cleaning up puke. Oh and Michelle got her hair colored and cut and she looks FABUL-ICIOUS!!

MOOOOO!

Who is me?

In high school I devoted an inordinate amount of time to figuring out who I was. What did I like? What was I good at? What were my feelings on certain matters? By the time I graduated I thought I had myself pretty figured out. Then I went to college and met some great people who taught me that maybe I could be better, so I changed a little but still knew who I was. My mission deepened my sense of spirituality and added and tweaked my image but I was still confident in that image and with that confidence I came home and got married.

Although I have expanded this concept of who I was as I became a husband and then father and career man, I have always still held onto some of the fundemental likes, dislikes and traits. I am a poet, a hopeless romantic, a right-brained individual.

Recently, as I have blogged before, I'm back in school. I've done surprisingly well in both of my previous math classes (better than I ever did in high school) and found them to not be nearly as difficult as I remembered. This semester I've started Calculus again. Apparently they don't believe I remembered enough from almost 15 years ago. I don't believe it either. However, I have a great teacher who has got to be one of the funniest math teachers I've ever known. Today, my math book finally arrived. Saved me $50 waiting until the first day of class instead of just blindly buying what the bookstore recommended. As I was driving home I was thinking about the homework that is being put off to write this blog post. I have an English assignment for my Technical Writing class and my Calc homework that I can finally start on.

I actually thought the calc homework would be more fun. When I realized the thought I had and that I really did feel that way about this math....I had a sudden crisis of self. How on earth did that ever happen??? Granted, technical writing is really kinda boring and has to follow all of these strict rules that I have forgotten most of or never cared about and still don't. Creative writing is where my heart still lives. But wanting to do math over writing of any kind?!

I felt very lost. I still am wandering in a thick fog. What seemed so clear earlier today has become nebulous like a representation of the internet in an IT textbook. My heart is crying out for time to sort and discover and regain some semblence of who I am. But alas, I have homework...and my job, and a honey-do list to rival Santa's Naughy-and-Nice. So it is I will finish this post with the still lingering question, "Who is me?"